First, look objectively at your employees behavior. Theres a big difference between reserved and unfriendly, so clarify the situation while setting aside your emotions. List specific behaviors; then, imagine what his version of the same events would be, and how a third party might see them. Also assess whether this is new, or if its been this way since he was hired. This will help determine if youre reacting to style differences, or if theres a personnel situation to address.
Then evaluate the actual effect his demeanor has. Apart from bothering you, have you had complaints or comments from other employees? If not, this might not be a team issue.
Think about your vision of a positive workplace, from practical aspects related to getting the work done, as well as the ideal team interactions. Try envisioning a week of the perfect workplace. What would it look like and sound like? What do people do during lunch hours and break times? Are there after-work get-togethers?
Finally, look at your own bottom line on the situation: If he doesnt start interacting more, I will Fire him? Accept his strengths and that hes not going to be part of the social scene? Try new ways to understand and engage him?
If this is a new dynamic, make a plan to talk with him. If something is bothering him at work, he may be willing to share that. Try something like, Ive noticed that youre quiet at work these days and, while your work quality is fine, Im concerned that youre not as happy here as you were. If thats the case, Id like to work with you on it.
Then be prepared for a range of responses. He may come back with everythings fine. Try following up with examples abrupt interactions, lack of participation in events, whatever youve noticed. He still may not want to discuss it, and youll need to respect that. End the conversation with an offer to talk again when hed like to.
He may have feedback thats uncomfortable for you to hear, including team dynamics, even your management style. Listen non-defensively and then either explore solutions or take some time to ponder his comments. Be sure to thank him for any feedback he offers.
Recognize that work is only a part of most peoples lives. Personal concerns outside of work may be taking up a lot of energy. You can gently ask if you wish, but respect his boundaries if he doesnt want to engage.
If theres really an issue, address it directly, but recognize that respecting diversity includes personal style so you create a positive workplace for all employees.
(Liz Reyer is a credentialed coach with more than 20 years of business experience. Her company, Reyer Coaching amp; Consulting, offers services for organizations of all sizes. Submit questions or comments about this column at http://www.deliverchange.com/coachscorner or email her at liz@deliverchange.com.)
Copyright 2011 the Star Tribune (Minneapolis); distributed by MCT Information Services
Tags: Interactions
0